"MUNICH, Germany (Reuters) - A priest in Germany got more than he bargained for during confession when a man not only declared his sins, but also handed over a machine gun and a hand grenade, police in Bavaria said on Tuesday."  
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From CNN.com: "Israeli Prime Minister Ariel Sharon's condition remained critical but stable the morning after he underwent emergency abdominal surgery, according to a hospital statement Sunday quoted by news agencies."

"Better a live Judeo-Nazi than a dead saint." - Ariel Sharon 
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From CNN.com:

"Down with Bush!"

"Hussein also screamed "Long live Iraq" and "Long live the Iraqi people." The former Iraqi president cursed the judge and called him a criminal.

Hussein said he was brought to court against his will. He didn't wear his customary suit but instead was dressed in blue galabeya -- a traditional Arab robe -- and dark blue overcoat."

(actually, it looks like he's dressed as an unemployed actor. quite fitting, since that's what he is now.) 
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From CNN.com:"Vice President Dick Cheney shot and wounded a companion during a hunting trip in south Texas on Saturday, the vice president's office said. The wounded man, 78-year-old Harry Whittington, was reported to be alert and in stable condition at a Corpus Christi hospital after being hit by birdshot Saturday afternoon. Whittington, an Austin attorney and Bush-Cheney campaign contribuor, was among a handful of people accompanying the vice president." 
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"A 10-year-old boy thought he was giving candy to his friends on the school bus.

But prosecutors in Fort Wayne, Ind., said the youngster was actually passing out the illegal drug Ecstasy.

Investigators are trying to figure where the kid got the pills. Some of the students put the pills in their mouths but spit them out because they tasted bad. Some students reported stomachaches and one felt tingling down the arms.

The driver then collected the bag of turquoise pills.

Police estimate the value of the stash of more than 130 Ecstasy tabs at about $3,000."  
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From The Guardian: "When Barney Broom began renovating his cottage he did not expect to be confronted by a pair of black eyes staring from a cloudy jar.
...
The delicate 30cm (12 inch) figure of a baby alien is stored in a pungent liquid and has a US serial number painted on its four-toed foot." 
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It is because of these pictures that riots are erupting and Muslims around the world are shouting... 
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From High Times:

Danny Urbino, a senior business economics major and last year’s “fattest blunt” champion, won the event again this year with a blunt weighing in at 25 grams - 10 grams heavier than the blunt he won with in 2005. “Mark” rolled the fattest joint rolled during the competition, measuring 14.5 grams

Roland said the fastest joint was rolled in 12 seconds by a contestant who went by the name “Pops,” and the fastest blunt was rolled in 17 seconds by “Maurice.”

 

From CNN.com: "The international community has given Iran a "final opportunity" to meet its nuclear obligations, British Foreign Secretary Jack Straw has said."

Congratulations to the people who name these dumb fucktards. Last week, Boehner and Koch stood side by side at the Whitehouse. Now it's the "last straw'.  
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The evil character Osama Bin Laden is a familiar name throughout the many screenplays written by the United States of America. Once a smashing success, the current production of "The War On Terror" has been experiencing a decline in popularity. People aren't standing on their tip-toes anymore waiting for a dirty-bomb to go off. The current episode, a co-venture being written by the White House, Pentagon, and the CIA, has the ficticious Bin Laden threatening more attacks unless a long-term truce can be reached. 
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"I don't care what people are saying Uptown or wherever they are. This city will be chocolate at the end of the day," Nagin said in a Martin Luther King Jr. Day speech. "This city will be a majority African-American city. It's the way God wants it to be."

Sounds pretty racist. Good for him - self-determination for your own people, as well as the desire to live amongst those that most reflect your own values, morals, and culture, is a healthy, natural instinct; one of the most fundamental building-blocks of any successful society.

In regard to the situation of our African American population, Nagin had this to say:

"We are not taking care of ourselves. We are not taking care of our women, and we are not taking care of our children when you have a community where 70 percent of its children are being born to one parent."

The first step in solving a problem is admitting that it exists. Good for you, Mayor Nagin. You've admitted it, now identify the cause and solve it. 
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"Scientists in Taiwan have successfully bred three pigs that glow fluorescent green in the dark, marking a potential breakthrough for stem cell research, a professor says."  
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"MINNEAPOLIS (Reuters) - Minnesota voters, who eight years ago elected a former professional wrestler as their governor, may find a self-proclaimed vampire on the ballot for the office this year.

"I sink my fangs into the neck of my donor ... and drink their blood," he said, adding that his donor is his wife, Julie." 
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Two tunnels were recently found under the US border. One in San Diego was found after it collapsed. There was evidence of it being used recently. The other tunnel was found in Nogales, Arizona, where two men were caught hauling away 135 Kg (300 Lbs) of marijuana. Looks like a few South-Westerners may have to go without pot for a few weeks while the Mexicans build another tunnel.  
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